Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Rant: Wouldn't you be happier with somebody who is your own race?

Hi All!

My usual posts are based about personal style, fashion and beauty; however those of you who have been following my blog over the years will know that I can post the occasional rant here and there. So lets cut straight to the chase....




My boyfriend Tom was in the queue at a shop, the background on his phone is a photo of me, he received a message to which a random man behind saw my photo light up and the conversation between them both was this:


Man: Don't you think you would be happier with somebody who is your own race?

(Tom was baffled as you could imagine)

Tom: What?

Man: Well would you not be happier with somebody who is your own race?

Tom: No! I'm quite happy in my interracial relationship!!

(The man was apparently taken back by Tom's response and didn't know what else to say, but by them Tom had already paid for his items and walked out the building)


Now my other half is white and as you can see I am mixed race and the man he briefly conversed with was also white. It's such a rude thing to:

1. Judge others on their choice of who they love be the the same sex, opposite sex, same race, opposite race
2. Discuss their preferences in such a shocking and rude manner


I so wish I had been there to give this man a piece of my mind because it was completely unacceptable, out of order and absolutely nothing to do with him.



I had seriously forgot what it can be like being in an interracial couple and having people judge you for it. I have been in two serious relationships before Tom; my first boyfriend was white, the second mixed race like myself. It's been over 6 years since I was in my last interracial couple and now being with Tom I have started to notice the 'looks' that we get on a regular basis. And would it shock you to know that I get the looks from people of his race and he gets the looks from people of my race?

Anyone would think that we were committing some kind of crime by being together, when in actual fact the majority of US laws legalising... yes I said LEGALISING,  interracial marriage was changed in the 1960's. So 50 years ago American people saw sense in deciding that people of different races could legally marry with no penalties. The UK however from what I have seen online didn't have any laws regarding this subject, people would often get looked down on but nothing more..... kind of sounds familiar!

A lot of people I speak to on this topic are very shocked by others mentalities, they often ask what sort of 'looks' we get. It's usually a look of disbelief, what are they doing together, mmmm ok - we're very good at reading people's thoughts which I don't think they realise is written all over their faces. And our response you might ask? We sometimes stare them out which makes them feel awkward, rub it in their faces or simply ignore them - although it's harder for me to ignore then Tom.

Toms thoughts on this are;

'Everyone has their opinion on it but they should keep it to their selves.  I'm happy and I couldn't care less what people think as it doesn't bother me. It's not uncommon to see mixed couples nowadays so I don't understand why people give the looks they do or say what they do? I wonder how the people who judge us would feel if it was their child or family member who dated someone of a different race to them? Would they go about it the same way? I actually like it when we get 'the looks' because I think yes I'm white, she's mixed race and i'm happy. It must bother them a lot more then it bothers us.'

I am 100% happy, I couldn't care less if my boyfriend was white, black, mixed or green. As they say love is blind... I just wish others were not so blinded by racism and ignorance to realise this.



Have you ever experience this or something similar? Leave any comments on this topic below, I am interested on your thoughts



Doma-Nikki....x

1 comment:

Vicki Keeling said...

What a rude, small minded man.
As long as people are happy what's it got to do with anybody else.
Hope his words didn't get to you too much.
Vicki x

What A Little Pickle